It is not there to serve you and give you things like happiness and self-esteem.It is not there to make you feel good about life and about yourself.This isn’t to say a relationship can’t do these things, it’s just that these aren’t the elements upon which a healthy relationship is built. A relationship is an experience to be had and shared.A relationship also isn’t some sort of milestone, a sign that you have “made it,” that you will be OK, that you are now a member of some elite club. It is about discovering how compatible you are with someone else, and if there is enough chemistry and compatibility to form a lifelong partnership, also known as marriage.Like it will somehow lead us to a place of confidence and clarity. It will lead you in the opposite direction, rather, and cause you to feel even more uncertain and insecure.
Until then, I’m going to enjoy the relationship and not let this bother me.For example, if you started seeing a guy and don’t hear from him for a day or two, say, “I will not panic about this right now.If I don’t hear from him by X day at Y time, then I am allowed to be upset about this,” and then just take it out of your mind.Maybe you’d like to go on dates more regularly or see him a few times during the week.Tell yourself that you will be fine with things for the time being, and if nothing changes in two weeks, then you can be upset about it and deal with it.