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We value excellent academic writing and strive to provide outstanding essay writing services each and every time you place an order.We write essays, research papers, term papers, course works, reviews, theses and more, so our primary mission is to help you succeed academically.Sometimes, my own perfectionism, lack of sleep, and terror of not being good enough got the best of me.There were times when I became so overwhelmed that I would have meltdowns, crying hysterically and even screaming and scratching myself in public.Because it felt impossible for me to maintain all of that, I began to hate myself. I started to have more meltdowns than ever and experience intense periods of suicidality.I was eventually diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, a condition usually considered to stem from a pathological fear of abandonment.I was absolutely convinced that I did not deserve him.

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I stayed up late studying because I was terrified that my grades were the only good thing about me, and if I scored anything less than straight A’s, I would no longer be valued or liked by those around me. Growing up, I was that socially awkward kid with glasses, braces, and bushy curly hair who would not stop talking about or the original stories I was writing.I have spent a lot of time trying to convince myself and others that I do not have Borderline Personality Disorder.It’s true that my fear of abandonment has been a driving force throughout my life.The diagnostic criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder are five or more of the following symptoms: I was told that I exhibited frantic efforts to avoid abandonment, an unstable self-image, recurrent suicidality and self-harm, emotional instability, and inappropriate anger (this last “symptom” was in part due to my anger toward the mental health system).The idea that not only was I weird, awkward, unattractive, and overly emotional, but also had a disordered personality, only exacerbated my fear of not being good enough for those around me.

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