This is creating a scarcity of “marriageable” educated men, giving men an advantage that then sways the dating game toward casual sex. But then Birger goes on to advise women “not to put off getting serious about dating because the math will only get worse over time.
Call it the musical chairs problem: Nearly everybody finds a chair in the first round.
“If you’re a female who wants sex with a lot of guys, not only are you a slut, but you also have ‘issues.’ You couldn’t possibly just want sex for fun, like guys do, so the desire must be coming from low self-esteem, depression, or because you’re ‘ugly’ and can’t get a boyfriend or whatever.
According to a recent barrage of news stories, apps like Tinder have turned dating into a dehumanizing form of online shopping, catalyzing some sort of sexual Armageddon and the death of courtship itself. So if you have a very unrestricted sociosexuality—meaning you want a lot of casual sex and novelty—then Tinder is perfect for you.
Casual sex has become too easy, the consensus seems to be, preventing young people from making meaningful connections and turning us into sex-crazed, diseased sociopaths speeding toward a broken, lonely future. One guy has slept with five different women from Tinder—his “Tinderellas”—over the previous eight days, another with “30 to 40 women in the last year.” They can’t remember some of the girls’ names, and they brag about how little money and effort these “dates” cost them.
If you revisit some of the panicky conservative responses to the sexual revolution in the ’60s, they read strikingly similarly to today’s cautionary tales about hookup culture.
In fact, a main argument in support of the Pill was that technology does not determine behavior, and studies have since validated this assertion: Unmarried women were having sex before the Pill; it was just less out in the open.